Ted Hears Noises
by BobSince1934
Summary: Ted hears some very strange noises coming from Tegan's bunk one night. Mentions Quincest, TeganxSara.


Ted laid awake in his bunk unable to sleep. He checked his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time. The glow-in-the-dark device informed him that it was 2:34 a.m. He threw his pillow over his face and folded the ends down over his ears.

How was he supossed to sleep with Tegan being that loud? How had she even managed to snake a girl onto the bus without any of them noticing anyway? He wondered if everyone else was being kept awake too.

After ten minutes of not being able to hear anything through the cushioned fabric of the pillow, he removed it thinking they were finally done. All was quiet. Ted smiled and closed his eyes.

_Moan. Gasp._

God damn it!

Ted suffered through another hour of his face buried in his pillow before Tegan and her mystery girl were finally finished.

Ted smirked and lightly shook his head. No way was he ever letting this go. He would let Tegan know in the morning that he had heard everything. Then he would never let her forget it. He would forever use this night to embarass her, in a friendly manner of course. He wasn't so much mad at the situation as he was amused.

With it being nearly 4:00 a.m., Ted figured he'd better make the most out of the measly four hours of sleep he was about to get.

* * *

Ted awoke with everyone else at 8:00 sharp. Usually he refused to get up and lay lazily in bed for an extra half hour, but today he got up instantly. Today he had an actual purpose for getting up early. He wanted to get a glimpse of the girl Tegan had been shacking up with the night before. He pushed back the curtain of his bunk only enough so he could see across the narrow hall to Tegan's bunk without being too obvious.

It wasn't long before someone slid out of it. It was Sara. They must've switched bunks without telling anyone. The fact that it had actually been Sara keeping him up amused Ted een more than if it had been Tegan. Tegan is the one who's supposed to be a little more wild and maybe have a one night stand every once in a while. Sara's supossed to be the quiet one who falls asleep reading a book and eating goldfish crackers. One acting like the other was a mindfuck for Ted.

But who had Sara been with last night? She had closed the curtain to her bunk before Ted could see who else was inside it. She wasn't gone, Ted knew that. They were driving all night. Why had Sara brought a girl on the bus in the first place? Did she know that they weren't parked last night? That girl would wake up and be in a completely different city! How the hell was she going to get home? This was getting better by the second. He stayed in teh same position and waited to see this girl.

Nearly ten minutes later someone else crawled sleepily out of the bunk. They yawned and stretched while Ted laid there dumfounded completely in shock from seeing their face. It was the last person on Earth Ted would'be gussed it to be. It was Tegan.

No. That wasn't possible. There was no way Tegan and Sara were secret lovers. Was there? Now all of those glances the two had sent each other's way had made sense. He had ignored them before. Who would've thought that those two were closer than they wanted everyone to think. This was hard for Ted to take in.

He got out o fhis bunk and made his way ot the front of the bus. Sara was pouring herself a cup of coffee. Tegan was nibbling on the edge of a Pop-Tart. They'd gone back to their normal routine of having almost no interest in each other. It was hard to belive that they had been up all night fornicating with each other. He couldn't stop himself from looking back and forth between the two, trying to figure this all out. HOw longm had this been going on? How land had they been hiding this? Was eh the only one who knew? He was searching thier faces for answers, but was unable to find anything abnormal in their expressions.

He managed to bring himself to try to function normally. There was no way they would want him to know their secret, and frankly he was trying to forget it himself. He wasn't up to being permanently scarred from carrying the weight of this on his shoulders. Tood bad he was epically failing at acting normal. He just couldn't stop staring at the two of thme, and both twins definitely noticed, each giving him an odd look, searching for answers just as he was. But unlike him, they were starting to verbalize their confusion. Sara questioned him with a simple, "Ted?"

"It . . . It's nothign," he said not wanting to discuss this right now with the chance of the other guys hearing them.

"You're so weird Ted." Tegan shook her head dismissing his odd behavior.

Sara on the other hand didn't let go of it so easily. She returned to her task of pouring her coffee, but kept one uneasy eye on him.

He grabbed a granola bar from the small cabinet above the sink and went back to the bunk area. He wanted to get away from these two as much as possible right now.

Johnny was sitting on his bunk above Ted's rubbing the night-time residue from hi seyes. He suddenly became aware of the other guys again. There was no way that he could've been the only one to hear what went on last night. The guys slept as close to Tegan and Sara as he did.

"Did you . . . hear any . . . noises last night?"

"What kind of noises?" Johnny asked.

"Um . . . just did you hear anything strange?"

"No," Johnny said genuinely unaware of what Ted was reffering to. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Huh." Ted figured he must be a really deep sleeper, that or a really good liar.

"What do you think it was?"

"I don't know. Maybe raccoons." When he was younger he often heard the scuttling of raccoons outside his bedroom window in the midnight hours. It seemed like a believeable lie.

Shaun pushed his curtain back quickly. "You heard raccoons while we wre driving 70 miles per hour down the highway all night?" He had been inavoidably evesdropping on their conversation. It was a small bus.

Ted blushed. He had had a momentary brain lapse. Not that he'd been able to think straight at all this morning. "Maybe not."

"Mornin' guys. What's up?" Tegan had come to the back of the bus as well.

"Nothing," Ted said frantically, wanting to change the subject.

"Ted thought he heard some noises last night."

"Yeah, raccoons." Shaun playfully jabbed his elbow into Ted's side.

"Raccoons? You're crazy Ted."

"He sure is," Shaun agreed. "The only thing I heard last night was you two." He was talking to Tegan.

"Shut up, Shaun." She hit him playfully.

If Ted were a dog his ears would've been perked up.

"Who? What?"

"You didn't hear us?" Tegan asked.

"Hear what?" Surely they weren't talking about the same thing.

"They were doing the horizontal tango. All night long."

"Who?" Could Shaun know too?

"Hello, Tegan and Sara," Johnny stated what to him was obvious. He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world for someone to fuck their twin sister.

"You know?" Ted asked him surprised.

"You didn't?" Shaun patted Ted on the back. "Wow, Ted. Just wow."

"How long have you two know?"

"For . . . forever."

"You seriously didn't know, Ted?" He wondered how Tegan could be so calm discussing this.

"I heard you last night, and I saw you two come out of the sam ebunk this morning, but . . ." The shock was getting teh better of him. "You've really done that before?" How had he been so oblivious all this time?

Tegan burst into a fit of laughter. "I can't believe you didn't know. I have to go tell Sara." She headed for the front of the bus. She was back less than five seconds later in a completely different mood. "I do **not** sound like a raccoon!"

**Ho hum. Not my best work, but it amused me. I hope it did the same for you. Reviews are very much appreciated.**


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